


Confessional

by Melkur_Mistress



Series: The Missy and Ainley Adventures [5]
Category: Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen, Humour, Lighthearted, visiting yourself for confession and tea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-15 03:05:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18490042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melkur_Mistress/pseuds/Melkur_Mistress
Summary: The Master's TARDIS ignores the Doctor radar and takes them to their past self (Beevers), who is masquerading as a priest - neither of them remember why but they amuse themselves confessing to him.------“Sex, greed, gluttony…” she paused as she popped a sweet into her mouth.“Also bad thoughts, many naughty thoughts, homicidal tendencies....some light torture, splodge of sloth, lots and lots of theft, whole lotta wrath - oh, and did I mention the sex? The sex was far too enjoyable,” Missy said, popping another sweet into her mouth.





	Confessional

“Oh this _has_ turned out quite unexpected,” the Master said.

“Yes, well perhaps your TARDIS wasn’t in the mood for a Doctor - never mind, one of _us_ is worth the trip for,” she said.   
  
They walked arm in arm, Missy casually swinging her umbrella, as they approached an old church.

“Lovely day - if you ignore the pollutants,” she said, wrinkling her nose at the London smog.

“We will be inside shortly, hold your breath - do take care of our lungs,” he said, hurrying toward the open doors.

Once inside they closed the doors and flopped down onto the pews, Missy breaking into an exaggerated coughing fit, and then bursting into laughter at the worried expression the Master wore.

“ _Jok-ing_. Do you have so little faith in my respiratory bypass darling?”

“My concern for our future is not a joking matter Missy!”

“Sure, yes. Sorry - bad me. Now! Our radar said one of us was right here….makes sense we don’t remember if three of us were here unexpectedly..no time to prepare to preserve the memories...but where are _we_?” she said

The Master stood suddenly and Missy froze, as the sound of footsteps echoed around the vaulted ceiling. Both turned their heads just in time to see a figure in a worn black hooded robe entered the confessional booth and close the door.

“Oh _there_ we are,” Missy said fondly. “Don’t remember us having an ecclesiastical phase, so we must be up to something.”

“I would be very surprised if we were not!” he said with a chuckle.

“Ok, I’m going in first,” Missy said, jumping up.  

“Going...in?” he asked.

“Yes! It will be _hilarious_ \- let’s go confess all our bad deeds to ourself! See if he catches us out!”

“Oh, very well. That does sound..amusing. However, I shall go first - you must consider carefully you words, and ensure you do not express actual remorse!”

“Me? As if I would spoil an amusing plan with actual remorse….” Missy paused. “Hmm. yep. Good point, I am terribly afflicted with that these days. You go first.”

The Master made his way to the confessional and opened the door stepping inside. As soon as he was inside the small wooden window slid open and his past self awaited his words.

“I fear I have sinned, my crimes...are many,” the Master said.

“Many?” the voice of his not too distant past began, sounding intrigued. “Do continue - how long has it been since your last confession? Do tell me of your terrible crimes.”

“I have never confessed my evil deeds - I fear we may be here for some time,” the Master said.

“Then you have much to tell me. Begin with you _most evil deeds,_ ” he said, almost gleefully.

“I have destroyed entire worlds, tormented those standing as heroes of the times - amused myself with cruelty, and cut anyone in my way down to size.”

“Who are you?” he asked.

“A simple traveller, seeking to rise to the ultimate position of power - rule the universe. I’m certain that appeals to you,” the Master said.

“You know me then,” he pondered. “Are you here to stop me in my plan, as to do so would be most unwise.”

“Stop?” the Master chuckled. “Of course not. Merely to wish you well and perhaps have tea. It has been a short while, but a while nonetheless.”

The confessional booth became silent as the Master’s words were considered.

“I do not recognise your voice, this is most encouraging - my survival is a certainty then?”

“A certainty not without hard work, effort, patience...and endurance. But such things make the prize only greater.”

“Delighted to hear - won’t you stay for tea?” he asked.

“Why of course, but you have another parishioner waiting - shall I wait for you in the vestry?”

“Yes, please do,” he replied.

The Master bid him goodbye, and smiled and nodded to Missy as he headed in the direction most likely to be the vestry.

Missy sat down on the somewhat uncomfortable wooden seat, shifting her position as she smoothed a barely visible crease from her immaculate skirt.

“I have been... _very_ bad,” she said, a flirtatious edge creeping into her voice without her even intending it to.

“You have my dear? Please elaborate.”

Missy lounged back in her seat and smiled as she read off a string of morally questionable activities and produced a small bag of jelly hearts from her pocket.

“Sex, greed, gluttony…” she paused as she popped a sweet into her mouth.

“Also bad thoughts, _many_ naughty thoughts, homicidal tendencies....some light torture, splodge of sloth, lots and lots of theft, whole lotta wrath - oh, and did I mention the sex? The sex was _far too_ enjoyable,” Missy said, popping another sweet into her mouth.

“My dear, these sins are considerable in number and...are you _eating in the confessional?_ ” he asked, sounding somewhat offended.

Missy stopped chewing mid bite and spoke with her mouth full - her speech muffled by the half eaten jelly heart in her mouth.

“No.”

“Please do not _snack_ while confessing your terrible list of wrongdoings to me!” he said.

Missy quickly ate the sweet and stuffed the bag back in her pocket.

“.....and also eating sweets,” she said.

“Eating sweets is not an especially bad thing, when compared to...all the sex,” he said.

Missy burst into laughter.

“Sweets _and_ sex though,” she said, still laughing.

“What is your name?” he asked suspiciously.

“Missy,” she said, reigning her laughter back in.

“M i s s y,” he said, speaking her name slowly as if testing out the way it sounded. “An interesting name.”

“Yep,” she said. “Bet you can’t guess what it’s short for.”

She smirked as the small wooden window slammed closed abruptly and then gasped in surprise as he exited fast and wrenched the door open, staring at her.

 _“Mistress_ ,” he said, his voice low and full of command and approval. “It stands, for Mistress.”

Missy smiled and extended her hand, smiling as he took it, assisting her out of the box as if she were dismounting a carriage. Once out, he brought her hand to his mouth and placed a kiss on her knuckles. She smiled in approval and returned his warm greeting by stepping forward and kissing him on the cheek.

“How delightful to make your acquaintance,” he said. “My future does indeed seem to be quite the certainty.”  
  
“Yes, it gets a bit tricky along the way - few bumps,” she said, as she pulled out the sweets, offering him a jelly heart. “We always survive - of that I assure you. Even when we don’t survive...we always find a way to become reborn. It is simply what we do. There. Treats _and_ a pep talk, aren’t I helpful?”

The Master gave a small smile and took a heart, placing it into his mouth.

“Then I thank you for the ‘pep talk’ my dear Mistress,” he said.

“I believe we are having tea in the vestry my dear Master,” she said with a smile.

“That would be most delightful,” he said, linking arms with her as they made their way to a lovely afternoon of tea and the very best kind of company.


End file.
